Friday, January 26, 2007

MODERN EDUCATION

From: Poms whinge so hard that beer ad is pulled (Bernard Lagan, The Times, January 26th, 2007)

The whingeing Pom is no more. A group of complaining Englishmen who live in Australia succeeded yesterday in their long campaign to outlaw advertising that depicted Englishmen as whingers.

The Advertising Standards Bureau ruled that the Englishmen were right to be offended by an advertisement for beer that negatively stereotyped and demeaned English people.

The radio advertisement for Tooheys brewery and its New Supercold beer employed a group of Englishmen to sing the tune of Land of Hope and Glory using various synonyms for whinge, including whine, moan, slag and complain.

The advertisement ended with a voiceover saying: “Introducing Tooheys New Supercold, served so cold it’s a Pom’’s worst nightmare.” The bureau ruled that negative words in the advertisement detracted from what it said was the otherwise playful nature of the word Pom. Instead, Pom had been given “a derogatory and almost hostile meaning”, Mark Jeanes, the acting chief of the bureau, said. The advert has been withdrawn.


"Uh, Bruce, what is it that gets you so riled about the English?"

"Bloody whingers, every one. Sheilas all stuck up, red and blotchy shahrk biscuits on the beach, beer’s warm piss, and they eyn’t even off the plyne before thy start hittin’ you with their bleedin’ eyrony.” Send the dags back, I sye."

"Well, look, have you heard about the latest DNA research that shows we’re very closely related to them."

"Are you fair dinkum?"

"Yes, you may think we’re completely different, but we’re all related to the Mitochondrial Eve."

"And who's she when she’s in town?"

Our common mother from Africa–the woman we’re all descended from.

"Got around a bit did she? I’ve ‘eard that about those African doxies."

"Well, anyway, the point is we’re all one big genetic family and a lot more similar than we think, so we shouldn’t be trashing the English all the time like that. They're like our cousins."

"They’re whingers too, at least on me mum’s side. I reckon its in the genes."

"Um, Bruce, I think you are missing the point, which is it’s just not right to be so prejudiced when we have so much in common. We share over 99% of our DNA with them. They are almost identical to us."

"Look myte, maybe I’m not the full quid about your fancy Dee-en-ay, but I’ve got me own scientific wye of figuring things out and I sye you’re tellin’ me a porky. Poms are as different from Aussies as chalk and cheese. And I can prove it."

"Really? Scientific, you say? I’m all ears. Just where was this “scientific” research you are relying on conducted?"

"The Ashes."

11 comments:

Brit said...

The Aussies are the most whingeing nation on the planet.








Which is quite ironic.

Oroborous said...

Nice phonetisization of an Australian accent !
It was if I were there. Or at least listening to Paul Hogan.

Brit said...

I'll take that as the compliment it is.

Brit said...

Anyway I did that one last year.

erp said...

"The Ashes" Don't get it?

Brit said...

Yes, what Ashes? I don't remember anything about them.

erp said...

I get it. The ashes are what's left after a blistering defeat. Thank you.

erp said...

Peter, this new blog of yours has become a favorite. Interesting posts you don't see elsewhere and, of course, great comments.

BTW - I wanted to send you something. Do you have an email address?

Unknown said...

Pom? That's a new one.

England can't be an aggrieved identity group. If you ruled the world at one time, you give up that priviledge. Now, if you could claim that you're really a nation of Africans, then you might have a case.

erp said...

Got it, thanks.

Brit said...

Duck:

Hey, we've got a right to be victims too! I wanna be a victim!

"Whinging pom" is the standard insult applied to any Englishman by any Australian. (Etymology here.) In fact, "pom" is heard much more often by us than "Limey" or "Ros-beef".

It is 90% good natured banter, with 10% genuine unpleasantness at the fringes.

These things are context-dependent, but compared to similar epithets uttered by us, it is more insulting than "yank" and less insulting than "frog".